So many broken words you whispered behind How do I forget the taste of the tears that you cried The road is so empty now, no shadows left to find Mornings brew my lonely heart All the smiles remain unkind Now I sleep beside a stranger A fainted ghost of what seems real My aches, my pains, these heavy chains Make it the truth so hard to feel Why did you leave me in this mist of emptiness? For all the love I gave, you took it all away Dont you know, this hurting grows With every moment that I wake

Sorry but I'm friends only now. Comment to be added :)

First off, thank you to everyone who said congratulations! I have read all the messages, I just haven't replied to most of them yet. x_x As you can imagine, I've been rather busy. Of course, since I hate just sitting around my hotel room doing nothing, whenever I've had "down time" I've been trying to edit pictures. I'll still be editing for the rest of the damn year, but at least I got the wedding pictures edited. Some of them are a little fuzzy but Christy had never used my camera before.Soooo pictures!That was not staged in any form... I was just standing there, waiting to walk forward and looking around. XD I walked down the aisle to the instrumental version of "Welcome to the Black Parade" by My Chemical Romance. I was very "uh... am I walking too fast? Too slow? I DON'T KNOW!"Ryan's sister Lisa (I went to her wedding a few years back) let me borrow her tiara and necklace.During the "repeat after me" part, Ryan answered with the typical "I do". I answered with "yup". XDI also had the sun in my eyes and could only see Ryan from the nose down. But I was determined not to be all squinty in pictures. I don't really need my retinas, right?Ryan's dad had my cell phone so I could send almost everyone in my address book a picture after the wedding.During one of the first pictures I had to lean in against Ryan and got my glasses dirty. I didn't get to clean them till after the reception and it was driving me nuts. XDYes, I got a couple of professional pictures taken in the ears. Ryan's mom made the center pieces for the table. They're foam craft pumpkins filled with real flowers. She also made the little treat boxes, which were filled with homemade candies in our wedding colors.I didn't get a picture of the wedding cupcakes until some of them had already been eaten. >_> But she also made the little bride and groom pumpkins. XDWe should get our professional pictures by the 11th or so I think, and I'm just going to guess that other people will be sending me their pictures when they get home. Oddly enough not everyone who attended the wedding is as big of an internet junkie as I am. Go figure. XD

22:55 I am currently picking a million bobby pins out of my hair. x_x # 23:05 There were 51 bobby pins and a ponytail holder in my hair. XD # 07:18 I r awake... and birds are chilling out on the savannah. XD # 14:44 My LJ flist is going to get attacked by picspam. #LoudTwitter

23:34 The cd player we brought won't play the cd of wedding music. Damnit I'll use my laptop if I have to! DX # 07:45 @AngieChan070707 I think it's perfectly normal given your circumstances. # 14:29 Does has husband! And Disney! And internet again! :D # 20:09 ZOMG HAUNTED MANSION!!! *ded from awesome* # 21:28 I went on the second rollar coaster I've ever been on. I was 16 for the first. #LoudTwitter

Christy had my Sony Cybershot and took some pictures, so I'll upload those later on. Most of them are fuzzy, but oh well. I'll have tons before too long I'm sure, and I think in ten days or so we'll have the ones from the photographer.But here you go! I is married!

Happy birthday to o01101011! *blows kisses*... And happy birthday to Frank Iero too. XD

22:38 I took a picture today with a Buzz Lightyear statue grabbing my ass. Oh yes. XD # 07:36 Oooh ritzy hotel breakfast. I bet it sucks. XD Wolfgang Puck failed last night. # 08:16 Okay, breakfast was pretty good. # 09:36 Pretending to be asleep in the car can be very useful. # 09:40 I may not have flowers for my wedding either. And we still have no cupcakes. # 10:05 Marriage license get! # 11:28 @maverynthia Yup! We got here yesterday. # 14:18 Went out and took pics of Layla while Ryan plays putt putt with his nephews. I <3 my little labrat. # 14:45 Whenever I see the Bayer "low dose aspirin" commercial I think of "Lodoss aspirin". I r dork. # 18:30 My drink has cotton candy in it. 8D # 19:31 My mom's interest (or lack thereof) in my wedding never fails to depress me. :/ # 21:07 Not a single one of my family has called to ask when the wedding is tomorrow. A little over 12 hours to go and I'm sitting here crying. -_- # 21:20 After the wedding, I want Ryan and I to walk back down the aisle to This is Halloween from Nightmare Before Christmas. #LoudTwitter

Soooo pictures of the hotel and stuff. Wee! These are in no particular order, and I apologize for that. I fail.The view from our balcony.Go little duck go! (The planters float... random.)The Ryan!Our room. Two beds (why?) and they're smaller than we're used to. x_xLayla's spot next to the tv.Dragon thing!Fish! They're in the pond that our room overlooks.Pink fluffy plants... lookit me all artsy.The lobby. More of the lobby. The rocks go downstairs (the lobby is on the second floor) and the stairs are behind them.They have a table of pumpkins and this is one of my favorites.This one is kind of cheesy but I like that it's the only gorey one.Also fun. XDThe view from the balcony of the lobby.More, including the dragon thing.Yet more.When you first come in this is outside. There is water.That's all for now. Tonight we went to downtown Disney and while I didn't buy anything, I found a few things I might get tomorrow. Tomorrow we're going during the day 'cause I want to take pictures of the lego stuff among other things. I sent a picture of the lego shark to a few people 'cause it was awesome. XDI also took a couple pictures of Layla today but just like... four.Oh and update on the cupcakes! Everyone will do red velvet cake, but no one will do red velvet cupcakes. WTF? So Ryan's sister (who has bronchitis... this could end badly) is making them, and they'll be iced once she gets here. GOOD TIMES!

06:42 I hate leaving the cats. :< # 08:26 And we're in Georgia. HI GEORGIA! # 08:36 Ryan and his dad have walkie talkies. Isn't that cute? # 10:39 Welcome to Florida! Yeah... I'm excited. # 14:14 Our hotel is srsly awesome! # 14:30 Oh noes, our wedding cupcakes fell through. # 16:17 So far still no cupcakes. We may be making them. # 19:26 I narrowly missed eating dinner at a crab house. Thank God that plan didn't go. #LoudTwitter

23:52 I have lost the mp3 I want to walk down the aisle to. Shit. # 09:36 If I'm going to take any cute Halloween doll pictures I have to do it today. NO PRESSURE! x_x # 09:47 Caboose hoodie get! 8D # 11:12 Volks resin + fake blood test did well. This fake blood is much win. #LoudTwitter

23:23 Considering it's an 80's movie, Poltergeist is still pretty damn scary. And this was one of my favorite movies as a kid. #LoudTwitter

Stolen from lillypuff because thus far nothing has happened today worth updating my journal over. Some of y'all know me well enough that you could probably just guess based on what you know my favorite movies are.- Pick 15 of your favorite movies.- Go to IMDb and find a quote from each movie.- Post them here for everyone to guess.- Strike it out when someone guesses correctly, and put who guessed it and the movie.- No Googling/using IMDb search functions!1. "I'm not questioning your powers of observation I'm merely remarking upon the paradox of asking a masked man who he is." V for Vendetta _jessen_2. "Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light." Ghostbusters vwl3. "You got it, sweetcakes. No more talking, singing, zip." The Little Mermaid _jessen_4. "Only the most dutiful of daughters would put her own flesh in a soup to save her mother's life. My mother did this with her whole heart even though my grandmother had disowned her. This is how a daughter honors her mother." Joy Luck Club sushi_candy5. "You burned in the fire that you started and nothing can save you because you're already damned!" Silent Hill o01101011 and twistedkitsune6. "I live in the eyes - you know that." "Remind me, though. Why the eyes?" "Because... I see everything, sir. " Session 9 o011010117. "Why is your coat so big? So, good news - I saw a dog today. Have you seen a dog? You probably have. How was school? Was it fun? Did you get a lot of homework? Huh? Do you have any friends? Do you have a best friend? Does he have a big coat, too?" Elf angiechan0707078. "Can anyone tell me who or what this is?" "Don't know, but I bet it never has to look for a can-opener." Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles house_of_raila9. "We had part of a Slinky. But I straightened it." Ghostbusters 2 house_of_raila (and jacksandjokers was damn close)10. "I'm having a blast! This is the most fun I've had without lubricant!" Saw (the first one) lillypuff and bloodmoonrising11. "No. Spiteful, vindictive, very large, but never crazy." Enchanted _jessen_12. "What's a nice Jewish boy like you doing in the sixth dimension?" Forbidden Zone lillypuff13. "If I still had legs, I'd kick your ass!" "Could you hold this guy for a while? He is so negative." Hellboy bloodmoonrising14. "You do realize that all I've got is a wooden baseball bat, right?" TMNT arsenic_spider15. "Are you sure it's just cramps?" "Just so you know... the words 'just... cramps' don't go together."BONUS!16. "He's pretty harmless, I don't think he'd hurt a fly." "Plus he's kinda..." "What?" "Well... y'know..." "Actually, I don't know." "Well, he's kinda into girly things. Like, feelings, and..." "I think you're projecting." "I'm not projecting, I'm just stating an observation." "I don't know. You seem pretty defensive for someone who's not projecting." Red vs Blue o01101011 and rayndel (She gets it 'cause she knew where it was. XD) (I wanted to throw the "bonus" in there but it isn't technically from a movie so yeah... that's why it's "bonus".)

11:43 Gonna dye my hair... woo. # 21:22 I never noticed the mom in Poltergeist was smoking pot. O_O #LoudTwitter

08:55 @buffysummrsx You're both welcome at my house if you want, I texted Laura and told her that. # 20:35 Marisol's new head looks gorgeous. <3 # 21:20 Weeee watching LazyTown. I'm a dork! #LoudTwitter

00:32 Okay enough retarded Silent Hill FMVs. Bed nao. (My dreams may or may not have a Night at the Roxbury theme.) # 07:51 BK breakfast and not feeling like TOTAL death. Mmm the day has started off well. # 15:45 I'm marrying a dork. # 16:40 Josh from West Wing wants me to give someone a water buffalo. # 17:54 Weeee I'm gonna die! 8D # 18:26 I am preparing to see the gayest thing I've ever seen... & I have gay porn. # 20:35 You can't have subtext without buttsex. # 21:08 LOL... Laura's gonna pee herself. #LoudTwitter

Soooo I'm going friends only... again. When sushi_candy went FO I got to thinking and I think it's time I do that again. When I worked at Blockbuster I went FO because someone in the BBV community had actually been fired for something they'd said in their LJ. But when I quit Blockbuster I decided to to public sometime after. But... how much sense does that make?Considering I have a "real" job now, where I'm expected to be a responsible adult I'm not so certain I should risk the people I work with being able to read this. I mean, they know about the dolls and ninja turtles, they know I'm quirky and different, but there are just other things they probably shouldn't read about. (*cough* boylove *cough*)So FO it is! I'm not changing anything, I'm not doing a friends cut or anything like that. I'm just locking future posts and going back and locking some old ones. Not all of them... I don't have that much free time. *L*Besides, I love having an FO banner. XD I'll put that up later.[Edit] Now that I've put the FO banner up, I'm amused that it actually has boylove in it. *L* But odds are any non doll people will think Callum is a girl since you can't see his face.

Got it! And I got my BK breakfast! :DI have a bunch of stuff I want to type here but my back hurts. NOT from the tattoo, from slouching since I can't lean back. I'll move to the downstairs laptop soon, that should hopefully help. So yeah, just pictures, you get story later. Nevermind I sorta put the story in the picture explanations. *L**points* James. He forgot to tell me his name, I asked just before he started. He ROCKS.The line art didn't really hurt, it was like cat scratches, which just sting. During the line art and shading I was fighting the urge to fall asleep. *L*After the line art. <3Lookit me BLEED!I can't win with these pics. When I'm laying down his head looks tiny, when I'm standing up he has stubby legs. *throws hands in the air*Every time I opened my eyes I'd see different people watching, it was crazy. People were going nuts over it, which of course made me all sorts of happy. I had been joking about printing out cards with the MNT Gaiden addy on it, and I should have!The coloring... oh GOD. At times it wasn't bad but at times it killed. I don't think it would have been that bad if I'd gone back to get it done but NO. I was getting it all done THEN!He way undercharged me. They normally charge $125 an hour and he charged me $250. He got a $90 tip though, 'cause he just seriously rocked incredibly. I learned that my tolerance for pain is a LOT higher than I thought it would be. It's amazing really, I thought I was this big wuss but I did damn good! My first tattoo ever, about four hours worth of work, and I didn't whine, cry, whimper, NOTHING. I winced a few times, made some "oh god this hurts" faces but that's about it!Almost done...Viola! Laying down so yeah his head really isn't tiny. XD He got a LOT of compliments! *loves*Leo by Tigerfog http://www.obscurezodiac.com/index2.htmlTattoo by James at California Tattoo Company http://www.californiatattoocompany.com/main.htm

This won't interest most of you but it's something I've been thinking about for a couple of days. Yes it's Ninja Turtles related but it's moreso about how the fandom has affected me, and why Leo is my favorite.When I was a kid I lived in trailer trash central. Hookers, drug dealers, shootings, you name it we had it. I wouldn't go out on the back porch at night without a parent with me, but hey, that was life. At the same time I also was dealing with the cruelty of elementary school students who liked to tease me because for some bizarre reason I was "blessed" with glasses, frizzy hair, bad teeth and acne at a ridiculously young age. Needless to say I didn't have many friends, and so I did what any kid in my position would do, I stayed inside and watched tv. When Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles started I was there from the beginning. No, I didn't know there was a comic book at that point but the first episode, I was there and I was hooked. It was great! Donatello was the smart one, Michaelangelo (because that's how it was spelled then) was the goofy one that everyone seemed to like best, Raphael was the sarcastic one and then there was Leonardo. Leonardo was different than the others, he was the leader, the hero. Sure they were all young teenage goofballs but Leo was the one who you could imagine coming to rescue the damsel in distress. If Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles was an old black and white movie, Leo would get the girl. And as silly as it sounds that's what I needed. I couldn't get out of where I lived, I couldn't get out of the fact that I was teased daily but in my mind I had my hero.There's a lot to be said for fictional characters. The best part about them is that as long as you want them there, they will never leave you. Leo's always been there for me, even in those years when I would go weeks without even thinking about him. I am 24 years old and last night I cried for an hour holding my Leo pillow as tightly as I could, then I snuggled up with it and went to sleep. 18 years later and nothing has changed. This is something Ryan will never understand. He knows I want to get a Leo tattoo and to him it's just a cartoon character fad that I'll regret later. He doesn't understand that other than my mother, no one else has been there for me as long as Leo has. So he's a cartoon/comic book character? So what?

Andrew Adamson, I. Really, really love you. Again, it was perfect. Been ages since I've read this book, and I haven't read it nearly as many times as I've read Magician's Nephew and The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, but through the whole thing I was going "YES! JUST LIKE THAT! YES YES YES!"Also, <3 the casting directors. Said it before I saw it, but... Eddie Izzard is Reepicheep. And yay surprise Warwick Davis. XDWhen you're fighting against someone who's got the entire land on their side, you... might want to just go ahead and admit how screwed you are.Loved the boggling over Lucy standing on the bridge with her knife, and then Aslan stepping up beside her and them just all going "....er.....". I did think I remembered the professor having more to do in the book, but his part might've gotten shortened for time's sake, since it was a pretty long movie anyway. I remembered he snuck Caspian out at the beginning, but I thought he showed up again sooner and had more going on.The temptation was awesome and freaky as hell. Another moment that happened exactly as I imagined it. And I have some kind of muse from that sort of era. Someone was getting so pissed off at Miraz when he was telling the general to shoot Peter, and I have no idea who it is. I'll have to try and drag them out and see later. They always crop up when I watch the fantasy epic stuff, and I've never been able to identify who they are. Anyway, amazing effects and stuntwork and so through the whole thing. The creatures and so on were amazing. The costumes were amazing. Etc etc etc. Just fantastic all around.Awesome, awesome stuff. So very pleased that they're doing these books the justice they are. I haven't heard yet which one's coming next, though I'd expect Voyage of the Dawn Treader, considering Edmund and Lucy are in it and they're trying to do them before the kids get too old.